Wonder If He Realizes

Wonder If He Realizes
Juliet Fortich

It was 1998 when our first-born came to this world.
It was followed by the second on the 2001
Another came on 2003
And that makes it all 3

I was all alone to rear them
With him coming just a month of every year
to see his child has grown into a beautiful creature
Who smiles and says "dad-dy"

Children are not expected to be always well
For they are not like machines
Neither am I
For so many years I stood strong for them
For I knew they had only me to be by their side

The time came that he had to say goodbye
For some reasons so hard to comprehend
He didn't fight for me 
He was trying to have our kids from me
But I found out he didn't care for them the way they should be
The kids were refrained from talking to me whenever they were with him
They were insulted and most of the time he and his family maligned me 
to make the children hate me

The time came that I had my kids back
I have tried my very best to make them feel loved the way they used to be
As they told me what happened back in their dad's side
I could not let it happen again
It was cruelty, it shouldn't be just be left like that

He started to fight for conjugal properties in court
and so with the kids
So sad that he had made it so rough
He wanted to have freedom to marry again
And he made me spend for that
I am not the type of person who begs
If he doesn't like me then it is okay

He may have had other interests
in other women
I do not care 
As long as I have my kids with me 
Loved and cared

As I remembered what he had said
the time that I had to have my kids back
"No money, no kids"
Huh, is that what a father should say?
Is money greater than family

From then, I thought that he can never be a good father
Indeed he couldn't
For after we separated he never have given what was due to his three kids
He never communicated with them without any of his parents or brother's knowledge

Decisions came from his mom
even at his age of 45
Soon he turns 46
He still can't do right for his kids
He never thinks right

Look at what he gives to his three kids
aged 14, 12 and 9
Just these things that are just consumed for a week?
I have fought these in court 
But to my amazement, the court couldn't go after him
Since he is working abroad


My meek salary supports my three offspring
Despite the hardships I get out of working day and night
I still look up to God to have him realize what a man he is
I wonder if he realizes


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